03 September 2011

Lord of the Flies

Heinous fly
Fly poop!!!     

Fly poop?

Yes, FLY POOP!!!

No discussion of life in New Zealand would be complete without a mention of fly poop.  You see, there are no window screens here in New Zealand.  And not really any air conditioning either because the climate is mild. We have just wide gaping windows. 

Now, in fairness, there aren't too many bugs here. I think the North Island with it's slightly warmer weather has a wider variety of bugs but here on the South Island, we have flies.  No mosquitoes, no ants, no cockroaches, no crickets.  Just flies. But we have flies in Biblical plague proportions.  So many, many flies.  And I am sure it certainly doesn't help that I have a yard full of chickens pooping on my patio or a paddock full of cow manure just a few steps farther.  I have an extra generous helping of flies.  Lucky me.

So, let's recap.  I have wide gaping windows with no window screens. And I have flies.  Lots of flies.  Flies do not respect the boundaries of my home.  They just fly right in the open windows uninvited.  They are trespassers. 

They enter.  They land.  They poop.

Fly poop is almost invisible.  Well, one bit of fly poop is almost invisible. But there is never just one bit of fly poop.  Because there is never just one fly.

Doesn't that look great?
They poop copiously.  They like to sit on the ceilings.  And poop.  I end up with millions billions of tiny black specks (or orange specks, depends on the diet of the fly, I guess).  On the ceiling. Very convenient to remove.

And also on doorways, cabinets, light fixtures.  It is gross.  It is hard to clean. And as soon as you clean it, there is more.

Why not fight the flies BEFORE they poop, you ask?  Funny.  My hubby is constantly chasing them with fly swatters and splattering them all over. 
If there is anything grosser than fly poop, it is fly guts. Mixed with fly poop.

What does your average Kiwi do to combat this plague?  They use a insecticide on a timer that squirts poison into the air every 5 seconds 24 hours a day.  It is enough poison to kill the flies but slightly less than what is needed to kill my small children.  The husband brought a bottle home our first year here and I promptly made him return it.

And then I cleaned fly poop for another year.

And now I agree that slightly killing my children is an acceptable hazard.  But only because it reduces the amount of fly poop.  It's a Faustian compromise to be sure.

Kiwi window
Oh, and for the smarty pants that is thinking "Make your own window screens" --- the design of the Kiwi window makes that impossible.  The handle is on the inside and the window opens out. 

You know what is really funny? Not funny ha ha but funny ironic.  When we first arrived in NZ in early spring of 2008, it wasn't warm enough for the flies to be swarming yet.  I saw no bugs.  I even remarked, "There are no bugs here. Wow--they don't even have window screens!" 

Turns out, the joke is on me.

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