In the US, we drove on the right side of the road. In NZ, we drive on the "other side"--you know, the wrong side. It is one of the craziest aspects to antipodean living.
The steering wheel is on the wrong side and, even after living here for 3 years, I still try to get in on the wrong side. It's not an isolated incident either, I do it all the time. Fortunately, I am better at staying on my side of the road.
When we first arrived, I made my husband do all the driving because I was afraid of doing the stick shift thing with my left hand. He did a great job except when turning out of a parking lot. Always a disaster with me yelling, "Keep left!! Keep left!!" And, sometimes, on roads without any markings or stripes, he would start to drift toward the right. It was definitely an adventure at first.
If I turn right, oncoming cars turning left have to yield to me
Now, it seems normal to drive on the left. The only thing remarkable now is this weird turning rule. If you are turning right, across traffic, you have the right away if the car coming your way wants to turn left. Does that make sense? If you are driving on the left side of the road and turning left, you must yield to any driver coming from the other direction who also wants to turn the same direction. It's hard to get used to--and I still am never sure whose turn it is. Fortunately, Kiwis ALWAYS use their turn signal. They are very polite drivers.
Of course, since we drive on the opposite side as the US, the drive through windows are on the opposite side, too. This was something that used to tickle me to no end. Except it did have an end because it isn't that funny anymore. It's just normal now.
We don't really have highways here like the US. Auckland, being the largest city with 1 million in population, has some highways but we barely have 5 miles worth of "motorway" in Christchurch--and all outside of the city. In the city, we have regular streets with stop lights. Or roundabouts, which take a bit of getting used to but I love them now. Also, there is very little traffic in NZ except for Auckland. After all the earthquakes have messed up the roads in Christchurch, we are experiencing traffic here. It has been terrible to experience since we are no longer "used" to it but is still nothing like a city in the US.
Speed limits here are generally 60 km/hour in town, and in less populated areas, they are 80 km/hour or 100 km/hour (about 60 mph).
Let's start with some definitions just to clarify.
em·i·grate/ˈemiˌgrāt/
Verb: Leave one's own country in order to settle permanently in another.
im·mi·grate/ˈimiˌgrāt/
Verb: Come to live permanently in a foreign country.
When you leave your home country, you emigrate. When you arrive in your new country, you immigrate.
Now, that we have that all cleared up, let's talk about HOW we immigrated to New Zealand.
NOTE: There are currently laws in place preventing me from offering any immigration advice because I am not licensed in that area. Please do not construe my retelling of my own personal experiences as advice. I don't give advice anyway (I generally just tell people what to do Ha!)
Argentina
We carefully researched all the countries in the world before we decided to leave the USA. I first made a list of all the English speaking countries, researched like mad and, in every regard, New Zealand was the winner. Next, just to be thorough, I went through all the non-English speaking countries. We considered weird places like Russia, Cuba, Venezuela. Not that those places are weird, just that it is weird for an American to consider moving there.
If we had decided to go with a Central or South American locale, we would have picked Argentina. But alas, it was not to be. And I am so glad that we moved to NZ, it is beautiful, friendly, wonderful. Moving to NZ for an American, is akin to moving to a different state---though much further away. The similarities with the US are striking and it is hard to suffer from too serious a case of culture shock when you can run down to McDonald's or Burger King or Subway and they take your order in English.
The immigration process for us was easy. The first step is to find out if your skill is on the "list"---the list of Essential Skills in Demand, if this sounds like a bureaucratic name for the list, it is because it is!!! We were applying under the SKilled Migratn Category Here is a direct link to the NZ Immigration Service page about the Essential Skills. There is a Long Term Skills Shortage list, an Immediate Skills Shortage list and now, a Canterbury Skills Shortage list for rebuilding after the earthquake. These lists are reviewed and modified periodically. We were already living here in the country on a 1 year work permit that was expiring and waiting for our Permanent Residency permit, when my husband's skill was removed from the list. It was a scary time---we could not renew our work permits. I also know of people who have gone back to school to acquire one of the skills on the list---only to find that the list is modified before they can emigrate. These lists change!! (There are ways to emigrate to NZ without being on a "list" but that is not the focus of this post. )
Once we found my husband's skill on the list, we checked our total points on the Points Indicator. You need a minimum of 100 points to be invited to apply. 140 points will ensure that you will be invited.
OK, it seems I need to back up a bit. When we first applied to immigrate to NZ, we filled out a form called an Expression of Interest (EOI). The NZIS offers a guide to filling out the form and it was easy for us to do on our own without hiring any help. We filled out the online version and submitted that--which was easy to figure out once we set up an account on the NZIS site. We saved some money doing it this way. We paid about NZ$440 to file out EOI. Current fees can be found here.
Once we filed our EOI, our application went into a pool of applicants. Since we claimed more than 140 points (see points indicator link above), our application was pulled in the first drawing. If we had not been selected in that drawing, we would have stayed in the pool for six months.
EOIs are selected by points:
Total points of 140 or more are automatically selected
Less than 140 points but include points for jobs or job offers are selected in a specific amount of numbers to meet New Zealand Residence requirements
Additional EOI might be selected to meet New Zealand Residence Programme requirements set out by the Minister of Immigration.
Obviously, one of the easiest ways to immigrate here is to find a job first--and maybe even get them to pay all your moving expenses. This happens but not for people in my husband's field.
After our EOI got pulled from the pool, NZIS checked it over to make sure that we filled out the form correctly and then sent us an Invitation to Apply (ITA). This is just a print out of your EOI and you must check it over and add supporting documentation for all the claims you made and points you claimed. For example, I claimed points for an university degree so I had to provide official transcripts for that degree. Birth certificates, marriage licenses, etc. ---all official copies, of course. It is a really good idea to begin gathering paperwork as soon as you are thinking of moving because it was a laborious task.
Also, we had to provide an FBI criminal history check which was easy to get--just send a form, fingerprints and $22 to the FBI and wait a few weeks. NZ won't let criminals immigrate which means I had some serious explaining to do over some youthful indiscretions. A long letter of culpability got me into the country in the end because I only had some minor conflagrations on my record. Serious offenses (felonies or jail time) will likely result in a "No, Thank You!" from NZIS.
Additionally, we had to submit a full medical workup, including blood work and a chest x-ray (looking for TB scars). Medical issues are very important to NZ because we have a socialized medicine system and we don't want to bring in unhealthy people who will drain the system. Our height/weight had to be within a healthy range as well as blood testing.
Once all of this paperwork was gathered together, it was all submitted to NZIS along with another NZ$ 1500 (for a family of 4). After a few months of white knuckled anticipation, we were approved. Next, we paid ANOTHER fee, a Migrant Levy of around NZ$ 1500. Then they put blue stickers in our passport, which is the NZ version of "green cards." The entire process took about 8 months for us though I know people who did it faster and some who have taken much longer. Current fees for the process are found here.
All in all, it was very inexpensive, straight forward and easy to do. The waiting is the hardest part. Oh, and gathering up all the paperwork wasn't too fun either.
available after 5 years
As Permanent Residents, we have all the rights and responsibilities of NZ citizens--except we can't move to Australia (without applying for permits). Once we become NZ citizens after 5 years, we CAN move to Australia. Too many people were using NZ as a backdoor to Australia since NZ has a more lenient immigration policy so citizenship was moved from 3 years to 5 years.
Once we had our Permanent Residency(PR), we could have taken up to 2 years to move here. Of course, we were already living here on a 1 year work permit when ours was approved.
After living here with PR for 2 years, NZ issued us an indefinite visa--meaning we are entitled to live here unconditionally. We can move away for a while and still return.
And after 5 years, we are entitled to NZ citizenship and a new passport, which we can use to enter any country in the world, except the US which would still expect us to maintain a US passport to enter.
The immigration process here is EASY and CHEAP!!! Especially compared to just about every other country!!!
Fuel in NZ is very expensive. It is currently $2.09 per litre for the cheap stuff (91 octane). There are 3.75 litres to the US gallon. That means it costs $7.84 per gallon for fuel here. Now you understand why everyone here drives tiny little cars.
Price of fuel in NZ 14/9/2011
If you will notice, diesel is considerably less expensive. But there are "Road User Charges" associated with diesel vehicles. You must buy coupons for kilometers driven and these coupons must be displayed on your dashboard. I think it is about 3 cents per kilometer. (you still need to learn the metric system!!) 1 mile = 1.609 kilometers
There are ways to save a few cents per litre by getting grocery store docket coupons. By spending $40 at a local grocery store, you will save 4 cents per litre. On occasion, the grocery stores will give you 10 cents off per litre when you spend $80. And every month or so, the grocery stores will lose their mind with generosity and give you 20 cents off per litre when you spend $200.
It is sooo totally worth doing. I save about $10 when filling up my tiny car using a 20 cent coupon.
I have them grouped as I do because they are all owned by 2 companies. Countdown and Woolworth's are owned by Progressive and Pak n Save and New World is owned by Foodstuffs. A duopoly. You can read some about the grocery wars in this article.
Food prices in NZ are outrageous. Part of the reason is that a Goods and Service Tax (GST) of 15% is added to everything---yes, even fresh produce. But a lack of competition is also a contributing factor.
In my own personal opinion, Pak n Save is the cheapest grocery store. It is set up like a warehouse and you bag your own groceries (they charge for bags as well so use your eco-bags). They also have "Mad Days" which is basically a big sale. I love Mad Days! But they give you very little warning, just a few ads the night before and radio spots the day of the sale. I hit them by luck mostly. Pak n Save also has the best bakery of the grocery stores.
New World, on the other hand, is the most expensive supermarket in NZ. I can't comment too much as I choose not to shop here as the prices are noticeably more. I guess you shop here if you are a snob and want your grocery bags to say "New World"??? I have no idea.
Countdown and Woolworth's are so similar that I, frankly, can't tell them apart. I think they are rebranding so they will all be the same name eventually. This is the middle of the road grocery. I shop here and watch their sales and it is reasonable. I shop at the one closest to my house but mainly because it is NOT in an indoor shopping mall like the Pak n Save. Finding a front parking spot so I can just run in is worth a bit more sometimes.
One of the incentives for shopping at the grocery store chains are gas coupons. Spend $40 in one go and you will always get a 4 cent off per litre of fuel coupon. Sometimes, it is spend $80 and get 10 cents off per litre. And about once a month, spend $200 and get 20 cents off a litre. I ALWAYS take advantage of these promotions!!! With 20 cents off per litre, I save about $10 off of a fill up with fuel. Woo!
But unlike Americans, Kiwis generally do their shopping at the butcher, the baker and the candle stick maker. Grocery stores are for convenience. And you pay for convenience.
I find the most economical way to shop in NZ is to find the local veggie stand or farmer's market. They are set up all over town and are better priced than the chain grocery stores. Of course, you can 't be lazy--you have to stop at multiple places to get the best deals. Broccoli for $1 at one place and spinach at another. They keep big signs out front telling you their specials so I just pop in when I see a good price. I don't spend one day shopping for food but am always on the lookout for a deal as I drive around on any given day.
There are also butchers in every area and their meat is usually better and more attractively priced. There is even a discount butchery chain called Mad Butcher. The one near my house has added a vegetable area called Harvest Market. Quite convenient.
Also, the best place to buy milk is a Dairy, which is a small convenience store, like a gas station without gas. This one had me baffled because in the US, you pay a much higher price for convenience store shopping. But here, you should buy your milk from a dairy. And you can get candy, sodas, ice cream, cigarettes etc. from the dairy as well.
We also have a variety of bakers. Some are exquisite, some are factory food.
One of the strangest things I have encountered shopping in New Zealand is grocery stores in the mall. Yes, indeed, you heard me correctly. They keep the grocery stores in the MALL!!
And not just one grocery store, sometimes they have TWO of them anchoring an indoor shopping mall. Of course, there is also a department store, too. But I find it incredibly strange that there are shopping trolleys full of food being pushed down through the mall, past the food court. Heck, why not sit down at a table in the mall and make yourself a sandwich from your groceries in your cart?
And the parking is ridiculous. Knowing I am coming out of the grocery store with a full trolley, I try to park near the grocery store entrance. Me and about 10 million other shoppers, it seems. I generally end up cruising that parking lot for about 20 minutes hoping to find a spot--like it is a Saturday night in a bar district. It's absurd.
And wanting to pop in to the store for a couple of things? Forget about it. It's just not worth it.
I do my "grab and go" shopping at one of the smaller grocery type stores like Mad Butcher, rather than fight the crowds at the mall.
Don't get me wrong, there are some grocery stores that operate out of a strip shopping type of set up, like Countdown. But if you want the big discount grocery store, you usually have to fight the mall crowds.
Pak n Save at the Mall
in front of Pak n Save in the mall (in case you didn't believe me)
New Zealand is a land of sheep. There were 20 sheep for every person in the 1980s but now we make do with only 10 sheep each.
When living in a land of sheep, you often encounter orphaned lambs. Sometimes ewes just don't like their babies and reject them, sometimes they have too many babies to care for them all and sometimes, the ewe dies in childbirth. Out of these tragedies, we get an opportunity to hand raise a pet sheep.
Little Rugsby was born on 9 September but sadly, his mother died while trying to give birth to his sibling (who also died). He is cute as a button, hungry and more than happy to be sleeping in the house. He has bonded with me and wants to go everywhere I go. I am officially his "Mary."
Rugsby is hungry like any newborn and I am making him bottles of milk every 3-4 hours. His "formula" is a powdered sheep milk and he drinks it from an old soda bottle with a lamb nipple. Drinking lots of milk means making lots of pee. And, oh goodness gracious, can this little lamb pee. And pee. And pee some more. He just seems to constantly drizzle pee. During his first several days inside, he managed to generate about 8 loads of laundry --urine soaked blankets and towels. He is now on the patio. Poor dear. I would love to keep him in the house but with his pee problem, outside is clearly where he belongs.
Rugsby got his name from my children because he was born on the first day of the Rugby World Cup. Then the children decided that the name "Rugby" was "already taken" and changed it to "Rugsby."
Once Rugsby is a bit older, he will be castrated. He will be a wether. And he will live out in the paddock with the other sheep. But for right now, he is happy to sleep in the kitchen and spend his days on the patio. In another week, he will begin sleeping in a barn. I am trying not to "personify" him as I know he is livestock but it seems I have bonded with him as well. Baaaa!
Crustless Quiche is a dish I first ran across here in New Zealand. I have no idea if they claim it or not. Since I am always looking for easy recipes to use lots of eggs from my chickens, I was quite excited to find this recipe. It is awesome because it is easy. No crust to worry over.
Crustless Quiche
These are the ingredients that you will need:
You can use any cheese you want, any veggies you want, any meat you want. The basis of the recipe is eggs and self-rising flour (or regular flour with baking powder) and milk. Milk is not in this photo. Oops.
I like to saute all my veggies and meat first.
In a bowl, beat your eggs. Add 1 c. milk, 1/2 c. flour, 1/4 t baking powder, bit of salt.
Also, grate some sort of cheese. I used cheddar (yes, in NZ, cheddar cheese is white---it seemed weird at first but then I realized it is much more weird to color the cheese orange like they do in the US)
I like cheese so I use at least a cup of cheese.
Put all the sauted meat and veggies in a casserole dish, add the cheese and then the egg mixture. And stir.
Even though I failed to begin at the beginning when I began this blog, now is a good time to begin again. Especially since most Americans seem to be totally at a loss about New Zealand. Many not even sure which side of the globe we are on. Sometimes, even the map makers forget to put us on the world map so maybe that is why?
A world map with New Zealand on it--see us over there on the right?
South Pacific
Though NZ is full of many Europeans, NZ is NOT in Europe.
Though located in close approximation to Australia, NZ is NOT part of Australia.
New Zealand, though very small, is indeed a country in it's own right. Like Australia, we are "down under" which means when you are holding a regular globe, NZ is on the bottom part. Down at the bottom, under the curve. Close to Antarctica.
Like the musical, we are in the South Pacific. But don't have any illusions, the entire South Pacific region is not a tropical paradise. Well, it really is except for us. In fact, for us, only the northern tip of the North Island (Northland) would be sub tropical. The rest of NZ is actually pretty chilly. We have penguins and seal colonies. We are close neighbors with Antarctica (only 3932 km away--or 2443 miles but you really need to learn metric if you are going to live here).
We are in "close proximity" to Australia but, contrary to popular belief, we can not just ride a ferry across the Tasman Sea. It looks close on a map but it is 2153 km (1338 miles, you still really, really need to learn metric). It is a 3 hour flight from NZ. But it is a relatively cheap vacation for us! Kiwis vacation there because it is HOT and we get really cold here with no insulation or heat. (So cold that we are willing to brave the perilous beasts of Oz) Even the water at Australia beaches is warm and delightful. NZ beaches are cold. Beautiful but really cold. Even in summer. Of course, like everything Australian, the beaches are also infested with man eaters. They have Great White sharks and stinging jelly fish and salt water crocodiles. So yeah, Australia is warm but it kind of sucks because of all the things that can kill you. At least that is why I didn't want to live there and chose NZ instead.
In addition to Australia, we are surrounded by a variety of very tropical paradise locations such as Fiji, Tonga, Samoa where we can vacation. But it's not like hopping a weekend trip to Mexico, airfares are exorbitant. I imagine it is cheaper to fly there from the US than from NZ for some reason. I now consider our close proximity to these paradise locations to be cruel and unreasonable.
Nations of the South Pacific ^ there we are at the bottom
Hopefully, you can find NZ on a globe now. Let's get to a discussion of the actual country itself. New Zealand is comprised of two main islands (and some minor islands as well). The north island is named North Island. The south island is named South Island. I hope you will be able to remember that! Sometimes, the South Island is called the Mainland, usually by South Islanders. It has everything to do with physical size and nothing to do with population centers.
Total New Zealand population is about 4 million. The North Island is home to about 3 million of those people with 1.3 million centered in the Auckland area. If you like the "big city," this is the biggest we can offer. Wellington, the capital city with the Beehive, has about 390k people.
Meanwhile, the major city in the South Island is Christchurch which also had about 390k people before the earthquakes. I have no idea of how many rearranged themselves due to all the drama. The other @ 600k Kiwis in the South Island are spread amongst the towns and out in the "wop wops" (far out rural areas). All of this data is from the last census in 2006 as the 2011 census was canceled due to the February 22 quake. It's all a guess at this point.
New Zealand
Oh, my! Look at all the volcanoes!
The North Island is a volcanic island, meaning it was formed by a volcano spewing lava. The bad news is that there are still volcanoes under there. Super volcanoes actually. And 2 of the largest volcanoes to ever erupt in the history of the world lie dormant under the feet of the North Islanders. We have active, dormant and extinct volcanoes here in NZ with almost ALL of them under the North Island. Heaps of them. Here is a big long list of Kiwi-canoes. And Rotorua has all that freaky volcano landscapes--including boiling pools and the sulphur smell that they have turned into a tourist destination.
Mt. Taranaki
Plate boundaries
On the other hand, the South Island was formed by two plates smashing into one another. The Pacific plate and the Indo-Australian plate boundaries are what forms the magnificent Southern Alps mountains that run the length of the South Island. We do have a bit of volcano action down here called Banks Peninsula. It is the little, uh, peninsula that sticks out on the east side of the South Island. There were 2 dormant volcanoes there at some point. After the earthquakes in Christchurch, the fear mongers circulated rumors of sulphur smells and pumice in Lyttleton Harbor. I have no idea if any of that is true. But I hope not.
The Southern Alps from the Canterbury Plains
All of the volcanoes and earthquakes aside, New Zealand is gorgeous! It's a great place to live. Honest!
No discussion of life in New Zealand would be complete without a mention of fly poop. You see, there are no window screens here in New Zealand. And not really any air conditioning either because the climate is mild. We have just wide gaping windows.
Now, in fairness, there aren't too many bugs here. I think the North Island with it's slightly warmer weather has a wider variety of bugs but here on the South Island, we have flies. No mosquitoes, no ants, no cockroaches, no crickets. Just flies. But we have flies in Biblical plague proportions. So many, many flies. And I am sure it certainly doesn't help that I have a yard full of chickens pooping on my patio or a paddock full of cow manure just a few steps farther. I have an extra generous helping of flies. Lucky me.
So, let's recap. I have wide gaping windows with no window screens. And I have flies. Lots of flies. Flies do not respect the boundaries of my home. They just fly right in the open windows uninvited. They are trespassers.
They enter. They land. They poop.
Fly poop is almost invisible. Well, one bit of fly poop is almost invisible. But there is never just one bit of fly poop. Because there is never just one fly.
Doesn't that look great?
They poop copiously. They like to sit on the ceilings. And poop. I end up with millions billions of tiny black specks (or orange specks, depends on the diet of the fly, I guess). On the ceiling. Very convenient to remove.
And also on doorways, cabinets, light fixtures. It is gross. It is hard to clean. And as soon as you clean it, there is more.
Why not fight the flies BEFORE they poop, you ask? Funny. My hubby is constantly chasing them with fly swatters and splattering them all over.
If there is anything grosser than fly poop, it is fly guts. Mixed with fly poop.
What does your average Kiwi do to combat this plague? They use a insecticide on a timer that squirts poison into the air every 5 seconds 24 hours a day. It is enough poison to kill the flies but slightly less than what is needed to kill my small children. The husband brought a bottle home our first year here and I promptly made him return it.
And then I cleaned fly poop for another year.
And now I agree that slightly killing my children is an acceptable hazard. But only because it reduces the amount of fly poop. It's a Faustian compromise to be sure.
Kiwi window
Oh, and for the smarty pants that is thinking "Make your own window screens" --- the design of the Kiwi window makes that impossible. The handle is on the inside and the window opens out.
You know what is really funny? Not funny ha ha but funny ironic. When we first arrived in NZ in early spring of 2008, it wasn't warm enough for the flies to be swarming yet. I saw no bugs. I even remarked, "There are no bugs here. Wow--they don't even have window screens!"
I originally started this blog to moan and whine about American politics. Politics and economics were the reasons that my family packed up and moved to Beverly New Zealand. But instead of wasting any more time bemoaning the sorry state of affairs in the US, I decided that I would just give up politics.
Wow! what a completely enlightened idea!
My reasoning for completely quitting was two-fold. First, my best friend always advises me to focus on my "realm of influence" which is my own household. And it is hard to do that well when you are obsessing over news stories and making meaningless comments on political forums. I don't want to completely give up what I can control by always worrying about what I can't control. Second, my mother always advises me that "ignorance is bliss." Actually, she says "fat, dumb and happy" but I don't know why "fat" is in there? Anyway, now that I am turned off to politics, I agree wholeheartedly. I don't know what those politicians are up to---and guess what? I don't care. It may mean I am not a very responsible citizen but I am a better mother for it. Besides, I am now a "citizen" in name only.
Plus, I have gained a few pounds and I suspect maybe the extra fat is helping me feel "dumb and happy."
I had promised myself that I would just drop American politics once we were outside the US. Ha Ha. It wasn't quite that easy. I was addicted. It took me a few years, multiple attempts but I finally did it. Ultimately, I had to quit cold turkey. The withdrawals were intense. But after about 6 months, they subsided. I still occasionally think about writing to my Congressman but then I remember--I don't have a Congressman anymore. I have a Member of Parliament. And I still have no idea about how the New Zealand government works. I have made it a point to stay completely ignorant of the political landscape in New Zealand. I might get upset. I might begin to write letters, protest, obsess....
No, that is not a productive path for me. I have other things to do. Plus, I like it here. I wouldn't want to get all upset and have to look for another country.
Old fashioned beehive
Beehive
I like to keep it simple and shallow here. All I know is that we have a Parliament and they meet in a Beehive. Not like the hairstyle and not like my bee hives in the garden. This is a building that looks like the old fashioned bee hives. I think this is supposed to conjure images of busy politicians? Old fashioned busy politicians? I like to think it is because it is filled with S.O. Bees. Get it? Ha! (Yeah, I do think things like that are funny. Sigh.)
I actually know very little of the politicians here so I have no idea if they are S.O.Bees or not. But they are politicians so probably they are at least liars? I dunno.
I have actually met one politician in New Zealand. John Key, the Prime Minister. He is the leader of New Zealand. But with a small country of only 4 million, the job itself is really more comparable to the mayor of Dallas than President. In fact, Key is more well known for his appearance on David Letterman than for his job leading NZ (a country many Americans do not know exists). Oh, did I mention Key is also Minister of Tourism? (It's a small country, apparently we don't need a Prime Minister full time.) Key got a "Visit NZ" message onto Letterman so clearly he is working hard on the tourism thing.
NZ Prime Minister reading the "Top 10 Reasons to Visit New Zealand" on the David Letterman show:
What was amazing about meeting him is that I was allowed to do it. My husband saw him at an afternoon benefit concert and said to me "Look, there is John Key." (Before you feel sorry for my husband, I am pretty sure that he knew what was going to happen next when he said that) Yes, I darted over there to take a photo with him. I am not the star struck type--I could care less about pop culture or movie stars. But I love politics. I mean, I USED to love politics.
Anyway, I go running (yes, I literally ran) up to John Key like an absolute lunatic waving my camera. What was amazing--to an American, anyway---was that he had NO security. No one tackled me, no one tried to determine my intent, no one even looked at me suspiciously. I wasn't tazed, arrested or even patted down for a weapon. I assume he had some protection somewhere? Surely.
He was really nice (but short) and happily posed for a photo with me and my daughter. I would post it here but then I couldn't be anonymous on the internet. And it isn't a very flattering picture of me anyway. Besides, I told him that I would only post it on Facebook (where no American would even know who he is).
Prime Minister of New Zealand
For the record, I like John Key. He is funny, he is goofy, he is always on morning TV, he will show up for the opening of a jar of jam. Also, he is approachable. And he has the GREATEST Kiwi accent EVAH.
Of course, I have no idea of his politics. He might be a real S.O.Bee.
Oh, and just for non-Kiwis, here is the "translation" of #5 in the David Letterman Top 10 video (above):
translated to American English: "Get the family together, stay in a cabin, crack open the cooler and slap on your flip flops"
It seems there is a great bit of confusion about what exactly constitutes a "possum."
In the US, an opossum (notice the "o"--but ignore it because it's silent) is a small nocturnal creature that looks like a rat with mange. It likes to hang upside down by it's tail and if you scare it, it will play dead and stink like a dead thing. Apparently, this is supposed to deter predators. But I can't imagine that this deters dogs? Dogs like stinky dead things. They like to eat them and roll on them to get the stink all over their fur. I digress.
looks like a mangy rat
look at me!
The term "play opossum" (still pronounced "possum") means to play dead. At least it does in Texas. I don't know what it means here in New Zealand but judging by the amount of dead possums on the sides of the roads, I am going to assume it means something similar here as well.
Now the New Zealand possum is a totally different nocturnal creature. First, notice it doesn't have a silent "o" in it's name. Just "possum" and also pronounced "possum." Duh!
Instead of looking like a mangy rat, this possum looks like a lemur. Well, it does to me. My friend, Joe, said the same thing so it must be true.
FUN FACT: The possum is a marsupial and a cousin of the sugar glider. I hear they make great pets but it is ILLEGAL to keep one as a pet in NZ. Which sucks.
possums look like lemurs
The NZ possum is really an Australian native. They love them in Australia--really, really love them. If one moves into your attic, you aren't allowed to hurt them (or charge them rent). But like most Australian things in NZ, they aren't welcome here. They are considered a pest--particularly because they spread bovine TB (and NZ is a dairy country--hello?) and eat native plants and native bird eggs (a big no-no here). In NZ, the possums are hunted, poisoned and run over by cars.
Sadly, I am personally responsible for the death of one poor possum. I remember him as "Pete" though I never did get his real name. It was totally an accident. I was driving from Queenstown to Invercargill in the dark in a rental car when a large animal--at least the size of deer--ran out in front of me. It went thud. I had no choice but go back to make sure it was dead (though I have no idea what I would have done out in the middle of nowhere with a maimed but living possum). It was. Dead, that is. Oh, and it was about the size of a small dog--not a deer. I swear it did look much much larger when it came hurtling out of the darkness with a suicidal gleam in it's eye.
I cried hysterically for Pete. I agonized over whether he could be, in fact, just "playing possum." Not pretending to be a possum but pretending to be a DEAD possum. To be honest, I still don't know if that is just something Texas opossums do or if these possums do it, too. After talking to him, crying over him and even photographing him (for insurance purposes, of course), I decided he was, indeed, dead.
Finally, I figured I couldn't continue to feel too sorry for the possum--his problems were over. Permanently. On the other hand, mine had just begun (though deservedly for a murderer such as myself). My rental car was seriously munted (Kiwi for "really screwed up"). The whole front left undercarriage plastic stuff was hanging off the car and on the tire.
I was sort of stranded in the middle of nowhere. In the dark. Alone. OK, not completely alone--I was with a dead possum. But he was really no help at all at this point. And I was afraid of touching him because they carry TB (you don't remember that from above?).
RIP Pete Possum --he died 1 yr ago yesterday
What to do? I chose to muster on--dragging most of that plastic stuff under the car on the highway. It was a rental car and I had insurance!! I did try to minimize the damage to the car--I tied up with hair bands and that worked for about 100 feet. I tried to pull it off but I wasn't strong enough. So I just drug it along. Stopping every so often to cry and feel sorry for the possum and for myself.
I could smell the tire burning from friction. That made me cry a little, too. I almost ran out of gas. It was an eventful trip. But I did make it to Invercargill. Barely. I must have looked a fright when I arrived at the hotel because the check in lady insisted that I have a free glass of wine. Kill a possum, get a free glass of wine. I think it is a Kiwi thing.
In the morning, the rental shop gave me a different car. And said that I was the 2nd person that week to wreck one of their cars in this manner. Clearly, the possum is a pest to the car rental industry, too.
If you drive on NZ roads, watch for possums. But this isn't Australia, so if you accidentally hit one, people will actually congratulate you. Maybe give you wine. Oh, and I found out later that you are supposed to pluck the fur off of them while they are warm. It comes right off (but only directly posthumously) and it is worth about $10. It is mixed with wool to make a merino possum wool that is soft and luxurious like cashmere. The Kiwis are super industrious like that---turning a pest into a product.
