Review of The Hobbit

I took my son to see the movie "The Hobbit" last night.  I wasn't too impressed.

Here is the review I posted on my FB page and I am not even going to bother to reformat it for you (the imaginary reader) because I am lazy (and because you don't exist):


My review of the Hobbit: I didn't really like it.

It was far too long--each scene was drug out too long, the 48 fps thing was distracting (at best) 

and weird, there was too much camera movement that I found dizzying and distracting (was 

giving me vertigo in some places), and, the worst part was that I felt that I had already seen it 

before---not that feeling you get when you have read the book--no, that feeling that they lifted 

most of the scenes right out of LotR.

I woke up this morning even more annoyed---there wasn't even a "plot" in the true sense. The 

whole thing felt like the world's longest, slowest introduction. Or a stupidly long movie trailer for 

the next installment.

Here is the story in one sentence: 13 dwarves, 1 hobbit and a wizard set out on a trip and get into 

some fights along the way.

No climax, no denouement, no purpose, no completion. 

But 9 year old enjoyed all the fighting and says he really enjoyed the movie.





It was like the fanciest NZ tourism video ever made.

I love Tolkien but I just didn't enjoy the movie. I do think it kept  to the book but that may be the 

problem? I guess the formula for a good book isn't really the same as the formula for a good movie?


I guess I was disappointed because I found it too much like a mindless action flick. This was just one 

fighting action sequence after another--in between lovely NZ scenery shots. But the way it was 

portrayed, the story was sloooow and secondary to thefighting. Forced, it seemed (the story) or an 

afterthought. 


And yes, it was stretched too thin in many places. I have lots of anxiety so it is easy to trigger my 

emotions in those "OMG will they survive?" moments but I really just felt... nothing. I wasn't too 

invested in any of the characters tbh. 


I expected so much more. 

Kiwi Humour

Something really should be said about the irreverent humor of the Kiwis.  They are hysterically funny and often baudy. The low brow humor here is infinitely more intelligent than the low brow stupidity that often passes for humor in Texas.

Even the Prime Minister is funny.  If you read my comments about him in Politics, you are going to get the idea that I have a crush on the PM.  Maybe I do. He is no Vladimir Putin (the quintessential macho leader type) but he is funny.  And in a country like NZ, that is an important quality.

I can talk and tell you all about how hilarious the Kiwis are but why listen to me?  This isn't a 1985 letter home---this is the internet!! And I can SHOW you some funny Kiwi stuff.

This first video is made in support of the New Zealand rugby team, the All Blacks.  Before you ask, I have absolutely NO idea why they are called "All Blacks"--they aren't all black. In fact, I don't think any of them are "black" but a few are brownish.  They wear black so maybe that is it?  In the U.S., teams are usually named after a mascot of some sort.  Not here apparently. And the All Blacks mascot is a fern leaf.  Go leaves?  I can see why they decided to name themselves after the colour of their jerseys.  Which brings up an interesting point of difference, in NZ, it is customary to say "Go the All Blacks."  See that "the" in there?  Yeah, I have no idea why they use that but they all do it.  In Texas, we never say "Go the Cowboys" so it is just too awkward for me to embrace.  Which is fine really, I just stay away from sports in general and I have no problems.

Also, there is a vast amount of rivalry between New Zealand and Australia.  No, NZ and Australia are not the same country.  Australia is a big continent next door with 20 million people. NZ is kind of like Australia's Canada.  We have little man's syndrome too.

Banana Cream Pie

I am lazy. I would rather buy a lovely cream pie at a roadside pie stand than to slave away making one at home. But every time you see a Pie Shop in NZ, they are selling meat pies. Some delicious, some disgusting but none of them sweet. For whatever reason, pies--like we think of them in America--just never caught on commercially here.  If you want one, you have no choice but to bake them yourself.
Here is my version of a cream pie--the lazy way.

Nothing says "Christmas in NZ " like $55 Turkeys

This is a GREAT deal---they are normally $80

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